Why adults date other marrieds?
Chat about a loaded issue that no one wants to speak about, that’s it. Funny thing, affairs have been going on from the beginning of the world. Extramarital relationships can be burdened with problems, cause heartache, and other harms. Also you should wrap your maind around all the other issues, there’s that truth and honesty issue, finances, age dissimilarity, religious background, remorse, and on and on. I expect there will be some strong opinions about some of this.
For the intention of this article I should classify an affair as a long term, maybe months long relationship of a sexual nature between two individuals of whom one or both are married to other persons, date married.
Why do women have extramarital affairs? There are as many reasons as there are men seeking an affair. I am conserned mostly though it is only the human nature, the need for care, belonging, to be wanted and cared for, the caring for others and wanting to be loved and respected. Here are a few reasons I have run across.
In nature we as human beings are all sexual beings. Nature has us set up to reproduce, to have sex. Sex is enjoyable and exciting, and sex makes us flee the real world for a short period of time. This euphoria exists for whatever amount of time we are able to keep the adrenalin levels high enough. Somebody can turn the longing on and off, some are excellent at controlling it and others are so-so at best. But we all have it, young and mature, able bodied and not so able. It is the Human condition. For some of us it is the sex act itself that drives us. For some of us it is the excitement of the hunt. For some of us it is the seduction, for some it is the love for another human being, for some it is the longing to be appreciatedloved, for some it is the total romance thing. These wishes and yearnings can be so strong they rise above the taboos society has erected against extramarital affairs. For lots of people the yearnings will overcome their doubts and make them risk the anger of not only their family, but the public too. So why, what is the mechanism?
Sex Addicts, probably some of us are. Sex is terribly pleasant, better then drugs, a natural high. If you are in this group of physically obsessed sex addicts and can find away to have an affair and not wound your relatives or anyone else? You would need to lessen the danger you are taking. If you have the feeling that a good affair is one that is advantageous to all, then good luck.
No love at home, or no romance. I think this is the major cluster, very big actually. There are many couples whose marital relationships is over, apart from they are happy in the manner they exist, and upsetting the extended families is not on their list of things they wish to do. You love your spouse but there is no romance. Also there are the children to think about. Your money are so knotted. You need the medical insurance, and so on. There are a lot of reasons to live together besides love and sex.
Physical reasons, there are some people who can not have sex. They have physical circumstances that prevent them completing the sex performance, at least not with their spouse. An extramarital affair at times solves the problem while keeping the marriage undamaged.
Ignoring, sorrowfully this is a ordinary groung I fear. One or the other, generally the man is sexually neglecting his spouse for a number of reasons. As a man I truly appreciate you guys neglecting your ladies and making them accessible to us men of romance, making them “lonely wives” But I still think it is despicable that you are neglectful. Also there is the spouse who is neglectful until the wife or husband has an affair, then they condemn them for doing so, when they where the catalyst. Those who neglect, then condemn, are not just neglectful, but evil.
Something is just omitted in the marriage, I can not put my finger on it, but its not there. Probably its romance that is missing, maybe it is a shortage of love, could be caring is gone, could be it is the intimacy, maybe neglect. Maybe we have simply grown separately, our common concerns diverged. Could be it is that what I want, and what I want to do the rest of my ages, is opposed to of what you want. Maybe I simply do not know what I want from the marriage anymore. Could be, just maybe I miss that emotion that when I am with you, it just feels right.
The ultimate reason people give is, they search for the passion that is missing and so very much longed for.
There are other reasons, the feeling of power, to run off, for financial gain, for revenge and so on. I am sure there are more reasons why people have affairs then these. I only stop because if this gets too long no one will read it.
Tags: affairs, Dating, dating married people, extramarital affairs, Marriage, married dating, seeking an affair